Sorry …

… I have been absent. I have struggled with my mental health because there is a lot of stress at the moment. Thank God for TikTok!

In the meantime, I have been reading Kafka and Simone Weil. I feel like a bad stereotype. Spring is here and that makes me feel a little better. My dayroom has been reorganised. Life moves on.

hello?!

So I have not posted in some time. No reason! I have been trying to write in a notebook, which seems to work for me.

I have been trying to read more. So some Kafka short stories and Satre’s No Exit for this week. I like No Exit – it gets there quicker than most Christian writers.

I do wonder why I read?! Is it for information, to stop boredom, or something more? Is it controlled interaction with people?

Anyway… stay warm (or cool) and read!

alienation?

What is alienation, and what is an alienated person, and what are the results of alienation? Alienation is the psychological condition of somebody who is never allowed to be fully himself. For example, in the social order a slave is an alienated person because he does not belong to himself. His work is not his own. There is no real personal meaning to his life, because everything he does belongs to somebody else. Anything can be taken away at any moment.

Transfer that obvious example to a person who is never able to be himself because he is always dominated by somebody else’s ideas or somebody else’s tastes or somebody else’s saying that this is the way to act and this is the way to see things. We live in a society in which many people are alienated in that sense without realizing it. Their choices are made for them, they don’t really have ideas and desires of their own; they simply repeat what has been told them. And yet they think that they are making free choices, and to some extent maybe they are.

What happens to a person in this condition is that, without realizing it, he does not have any real respect for himself. He thinks that he has ideas and he thinks he is doing what he freely wants to do, but actually he is being pushed around, and this results in a sort of resentment, which in turn leads to hatred and violence under a cover of respectability. This is the problem of our world, psychologists tell us. People feel inner tensions and violence and hatred, and they are ready to explode at any moment because they don’t really belong to themselves.

Thomas Merton in Alaska: The Alaskan Conferences, Journals, and Letters, (New York: New Directions Publishing, 1989), p. 74.

intention?

Intentions are mental states in which the agent commits themselves to a course of action.

Wikipedia

A mental state, or a mental property, is a state of mind of a person.

Wikipedia

So Intentions are decisions and choices within an individual to act – a resolution! By their very nature, these resolutions are not perceivable to the senses – they cannot be measured. So individual’s intention can only be assumed and never known, especially if the person has not communicated their intention.

Just saying …

absurdism

Absurdism is the philosophy that there is no true meaning of life, so humanity’s attempts to find one are, essentially, absurd.

What is aburdism?

Simple yet a good start. Life does not owe me meaning. Why does life need meaning? Why does my life need a purpose? Do I need to know the outcome before I start?

Kierkegaard speaks about it in Fear and Trembling. The single individual’s job is not to conform to the universal or the moral.

MBTI?

I thought I would do an MBTI. In the past, I have ranged between INTJ and INFJ. For the first time, I tested as an INFP, which is the same as Kierkegaard.

This is one of the descriptions offered:

You’re not like everyone else – and neither are we. We aren’t satisfied with surface-level material. We only deliver deep, meaningful insights – the kind that can lead to real impactful change in your life. For example, did you know that among people of your personality type:

  • 96% say they often feel misunderstood.
  • 94% say they often feel like they don’t belong.
  • 91% say they feel in need of transformation in their lives.

That may sound kind of bleak. But 98% also say they experience rich inner lives with much daydreaming and fantasizing about different ideas or scenarios. Never forget your magic spark, Mediator.

It is what it is. (Sorry for the meaningless tautology!) The answers are influenced by current circumstances. But I have had some insights reflecting on the above this afternoon.

eyes on the king

Apple Music suggested this song to me yesterday. A lovely album!!!!

So let Your love come take the lead
I give up controlling things
When I’m with You, I can be weak
You’re my source, my shield
The strength that carriеs me …

My Jesus, my Jesus
I can’t get enough of
My Jesus, my Jesus