My current circumstances mean that I walk everywhere. The shops, church, and medical appointments are all within walking distance. I should walk more and sit less.
When do I run? Only when chased.
Author: an absurd monk
… all voices sound different in solitude!
others and me
I am no leader. I lack the interpersonal skills, the confidence, the insight, and the prudence to lead. My thought pattern is too confusing, And let’s face it: a little on the eccentric side. My emotions get involved too quickly and everything becomes a reflection of “me”.
That does not, however, mean that “others” do not see me as a leader. It is a position that I have been pushed into through circumstances – a completely unwarranted and unwanted position.
So …. no!
take my life …
abstraction
Not sure I have a favourite word. But I like “abstraction”. Here is a small definition from John Locke (the philosopher, not the character on Lost):
‘So words are used to stand as outward marks of our internal ideas, which are taken from particular things; but if every particular idea that we take in had its own special name, there would be no end to names. To prevent this, the mind makes particular ideas received from particular things become general; which it does by considering them as they are in the mind—mental appearances—separate from all other existences, and from the circumstances of real existence, such as time, place, and so on. This procedure is called abstraction. In it, an idea taken from a particular thing becomes a general representative of all of the same kind, and its name becomes a general name that is applicable to any existing thing that fits that abstract idea.’ (2.11.9)
Why? The idea is somewhat central to one of Kierkegaard’s later books, Two Ages. And, methinks, it is pretty important to understand some modern ideas and issues.
different levels
I want to post something like taking long walks along the beach. The reality is that I rarely relax – there are just different levels of anxiety, and then sleep.
Reading and music help. Being alone is always a good start. Early morning is better than late at night.”Home” is much better than away. If not possible, a small group of people is better than a large one.
name dropping?
Daily writing prompt
If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?
Not a “word” but a borrowing of authority. I like to name drop: Kierkegaard, Macquarrie, or some medieval collection of anchoritic texts. (See, I did it again!) Or, the worst of all, “the church says”. And, by doing so, I think I use the power of the person quoted as my own.
It comes from a deep-seated feeling that I always must be the “smartest person in the room”: to dominate with intellect to make up for the overall disappointment of me. Yes, I have a good memory and sometimes a clear picture of an idea, but I know I use it to dominate and escape my own anxieties and fears. And often I do not want to tell people what I mean in case they think less of me.
So maybe the “word” I should give up is “so-and-so says”. And replace it with “I think …”. Take ownership of what I say and not hide behind another person.
scars
I do not come into this house empty. I have scars. And some of those scars are hurts I cannot easily put aside. So, yes I do hold grudges.
I am not proud of it, nor do I think it is productive, or healthy. Yet I need to be open about the scars that I carry into my relationships, especially my relationship with God. And then live in hope!
enclosed life
Daily writing prompt
Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.
I live an enclosed life – my home is my vocation. I do leave. Shopping and helping family are the primary reasons. I also have health appointments.
Enclosed, in my context, does not mean legally imprisoned. I am called to live my vocation in one place, The Anchorage at the moment, and not to live here to prepare for something else. It is an act of love and self-sacrifice.
Home Sweet Home
I feel I should write about the philosophy of an “ideal” and how that applied to me. But I am not.
My ideal home is the one I am living in right now. It is the fullness of my dreams. It has a library and a chapel. It is close to church and the shops. It is the right size and the right age.
A home is different to a house in that it expresses relationships. My home is within a community that has set aside this house for me. So it is ideal because it expresses my relationship to the community and allows me to express my relationship with God.
BTW: I recall writing about this before?!
books
I want to say something meaningful like world peace, a child’s love for their parent, the beauty of nature, or a beautiful piece of music. But the reality is that a book is most likely to bring a tear of joy to my eye. Not any book! A book that I desire for its content. I have a few with pictures in them and they are nice too. Yet nothing beats a good book with “mind-altering” content.
